Mekong, You Delta

I’ve done my research, I’ve seen the documentaries (Platoon. Apocalypse Now) and now they’re sending me in.

Because my employer has an absolutely wicked sense of humour, they’ve seen fit to send me to Vietnam to shape hearts and minds.

This is a country that has famously dealt with all outsiders from the Chinese to the French and some other mob, with the kind of ruthless efficiency that makes them the envy of all despotically run, third-world countries the world over. I’m going to fit right in. Not stand out at all. 190cm of pure Anglo-Saxon. The only thing I can think of doing is hiding behind Jeremy Clarkson. What? He’s been? They’ve done that one? Right… plan B.

Anyhoo, what this means for the Grey Area reader is that I’m going back on tour.

The last tour, through China, was a holiday. I had time to sit back of an evening and craft some of the most sloppily researched reportage of the modern era for your entertainment because all I had to do was look, eat, soak-up and synthesise.

This time, as indicated, it’s a professional visit. There needs to be output. This usually leaves me drained and slightly depressed. I will do my best though, folks.

A Grey Area.

‘In Country’.