Last night I had a conversation with Emergency Contact that I prefaced with, “Don’t tell anyone, but…” and after having told her the news, I felt much better. She didn’t react so well at first, but I think she’ll get used to it in the long run and I had shed a burden I've been carrying for years.
Having experienced the joy of revealing myself in a supportive and private atmosphere, I want the thrill and liberation of ‘coming out’, publicly.
But first; context: The TV hard-drive has hundreds of hours of films that I’ve recorded for wet Sunday afternoons and non-ratings periods. The quality control on this collection is almost non-existent. This explains how we ended up watching Hollywood Homicide. It was quite literally just sitting there.
So, after a particularly clunky scene which elicited a, “Who does that?” from EC, I turned to her and said, “Don’t tell anyone, but I think Harrison Ford is a crap actor. There. I’ve said it.”
Speaking as someone who, as a kid, had his mind broken by Star Wars, had it reset by Raiders of the Lost Ark and then re-broken by Blade Runner, Harrison Ford occupies a special place in my heart. But, it’s the characters and the situations I love. I’ve never revered the work of the actor. In fact, I’ve always felt great unease about Ford’s work. This discomfort has felt like a disloyal, almost treasonous thing to have living inside me but a burden shared is a burden lightened.
I want to shout it from the roof tops. I want to parade down the street wearing a fedora while swinging a whip, singing,
He’s Ford
I’m bored
Get used to it
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