Got It In The Bag, This Year

I have an unofficial competition going with my mate, Linda. It doesn’t really have a name, but I will call it Unlikely Injuries.

This one’s my gambit for 2014, Linda.

I am currently sporting a decent mouse (I guess “blood-blister” is the description, for people under the age of 30) on my neck.

Delivery method: Eleven-month-old.

Implement of destruction: A pair of reading glasses.

Incident description: I picked up Bobble-Head (the child in question and Darth Baby’s little sister) to say hello. I’d just got home from work.

Her reaction was to give me a big smile, grab my reading glasses out of my shirt pocket and reef them in a scything arc, over her shoulder.

Halfway through the arc, one of the arms of the glasses straightened to the open position, pinching a chunk of my aging neck skin between arm and lens frame, on the way past. 

The glasses continued on their path over the child’s shoulder, where they stopped in mid-air, having reached the limit of my skin’s elasticity. The specs then flopped back onto my chest, still attached to my neck, after being released by the child, who was startled by my yelp.

Glasses were removed, child was mollified and dad staggered to bathroom mirror to inspect the damage. I feel I’ve opened the season’s bidding on Unlikely Injury 2014, in strong style.