A lot of people are bemoaning the amount of time they have to sit in the car with their teenage offspring at the moment.
New licensing requirements mean that they are forced to get to know the child, before it gets the “P” license that allows them to kill themselves in private.
This whole process takes about 427 hours as far as I can tell (period may vary in reality).
Let's face it, most parents hate their teenage children. They have that “I love them as a general idea” thing, and trust that the kid will come through the stage… but right now, the kid’s an arsehole.
I am an ideas factory and can help with both these things.
Your teenager wants a driving license so much, they are hormonal for it.The law discourages you from abusing your kids..
I will take your teenager (for an immodest fee) and apply my top two superpowers.
Driving and abuse.
Remember; I was a talk-back radio host and cab driver. It’s a home game.
In this process we get to reduce the number of hours your kid is doing on your Merc or Beemer, and reduce the size of the little shit’s ego.
You can even prepare a bitch-list for of me to work with, or tick some of my pre-prepared topics. I am the fall guy that saves your relationship with your kid, saves its life, and saves your car.
It’ll cost you, but it’ll be worth it. I’ll even tape it so you can hear the little bastard snivelling.
My credentials for dealing with your teenager?
I am currently dealing with GenY a lot, so I’ve got a lot of pent up… stuff.
Oooooooohhhhhhh I sense that this might be an employment opportunity for me as well. Will you hire me as a fellow "driving instructor" for this new venture? I promise, I can be plenty abusive while driving. Especially to a teenager. Meow!
ReplyDeleteYou're in. You've just volunteered for work, ergo, you're not young person. And they stay up too late. And with their rude words and having the sex and all...
ReplyDeleteNolan would also be especially useful as a driving instructor in this endeavor. He just chewed out some kid driving a "big wheels" under his breath yesterday- it would have made the pimple-face sob and sob, frankly. I do love when my husband is ascerbic towards others- it's just so beguiling!
ReplyDeleteP.S. By big wheels I meant monster truck- bigger than a danged humvee. Because any American needs a monster truck in THIS economy in THIS state where there are no jobs.
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