S-bending Spree

Money is evil. I can prove it.

I could go into some elaborate diatribe on the nature of Third World debt, the destructive rise of mono-culture-agri-business and the extreme plots being perpetrated by the race of giant lizards that run the World Bank… but instead, I’m going to bring it closer to home.

A couple of days ago, I was in the bathroom standing with my hands in my pockets (I like the way it makes me look more innocent) and I pulled out a tissue that I wanted to throw away. (I know! How much more interesting can a blob get?! I mean, reading that last sentence back, I’m tempted to just leave it there. Had my hands in my pocket, found a tissue, wanted to throw it away. Dusts palms, declares his work done and posts the blob.)

So, as I pulled the tissue out, a five cent piece came out with it, did nice little arc and plopped into the toilet where it settled to the bottom and glinted prettily at me.

It is now starting to taint the porcelain, and really quickly. The toilet needs cleaning every ten minutes. The toilet is being tainted by the money. You can see what I am oh-so-subtly pointing at here, can’t you?

I said to Emergency Contact that she could keep it if she fished it out, but she just snorted at me. Honestly.