27 November 2009

I Prefer Turnbull

I’ve just been trying to estimate the chances of me uttering that phrase. There was a period, around the referendum on the republic, where it was possible... but unlikely.

At the moment, though, the chances have increased from ‘a snowflake in the deeper recesses of hell’ to ‘your chances of survival when standing between Joe Hockey and a TV camera’. Slim, but not impossible.

I have had the rare pleasure of telling Tony Abbott that, if he didn’t leave my table, I was going to insert “that” (pointing at chair) into him. I have done my bit. Wherever possible, you must resist as well.

But I want to take the long view on this.

The way the Liberal Party is burning through its ‘talent’, I think it’s probably good timing to have Abbott take a swing at the leadership. It means we wouldn’t have to suffer him leading the country. He’ll be chewed up and spat out before we get to an election he can win.

I just want to remind you what the odious, sanctimonious slime-ball is about, just in case you’ve been thinking of nicer things. Like fatal shark attacks.

If he had the chance, he would tell women what they can do with their bodies. He’s pro-censorship, which means he thinks he can know things that you shouldn’t know. He’s anti-euthanasia because he doesn’t trust us not to off our parents for the money. He would insert his religion into Australian politics and while he’s playing at being such a principled, moral beacon, let’s look at one policy position of his.


In the middle of this year he was pro-emissions trading scheme. Last week he flipped, citing no other reason than the reaction of the business world… because the business world is where we should be taking our guidance from on this issue, for sure.

At least, with Turnbull, you know you’re dealing with a straight up and down, self aggrandising, power-hungry mutt. He doesn't try and dress up what he's about as something honourable.

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