What's In a Name?

An Irish acquaintance of mine was getting all riled up at the television news. He didn't feel that it was newsworthy that Kylie had come home to visit Danni and her new baby. It opened up a new topic, though.

“Oh, dat’s fascinatin’ dat is. Bet it’s got some stupid fookin’ name, sure enough.”

I answered, “Actually, I think this one’s not too bad. I think it’s Owen or something like that.”

“Aye, but you know what I mean, roit? Dese stoopid celebreataes an dere fookin’ cockeyed fookin’ names for dere fookin’ kids. Jaysus!”

“Yup.”

“Me daugh’er, roit, she rings me up and says, ‘Fook Dad, you’re a Grandad now, so you are.’ and den she tells me the name o’ da kid and it’s some stoopid fookin’ ting like Barrel or some state in America. I said, to ‘er, ‘fookin Jaysus, why didn’t give it a proper name loik Paddy or Sean or sometin’ and she says, ‘Jaysus Dad, it’s a fookin’ girl, so it is.”