On the cover of the Sydney Morning Herald this weekend, I was dead excited to see that they had an article in the Spectrum lift-out on, “How to tell a child they’re fat.”
I have a technical interest in this and couldn’t wait to get to the juicy script guidelines I expected to find in the article. Do you make it a ‘tight five’? Do you harangue over a period of years? Surreal humour or simple insulting rhymes? So many choices. So much scope. You need articles like this to point the way and there was the joy of the Sydney Morning Herald seeing the light and fighting its way back to modern relevancy.
“Honey, clean your teeth and get gently into your giant, specially reinforced bed.”
“Goodnight. Sleep tight. The bedbugs won’t bite. They’re frightened.”
“… and no you can’t have your floaties, you don’t need them. In fact, I can’t get them on. And, swim between the flags. We don’t want the Japanese whaling fleet getting any ideas.”
“You’re not a morning kid, are you? You sort of wake up in sections.”
“Of course you’re special to me. I’ve always wanted a kid with her own postcode.”
“Not everyone’s bellybutton comes with it’s own echo, you know Billy?”
"While I'm paying for petrol, can you check Timmy's oil, please? And for God's sake don't put anymore air in his tyres."
And so on.
But no. Stupid SMH had a reasoned piece that said the same old sensible predictable things. Lead by example. Limit the portions. Get some freakin’ exercise. Total let down.
"You’re not a morning kid, are you? You sort of wake up in sections.".....love it :)
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