And If Symptoms Persist, Consult Your Comedian

As I may have mentioned, my international career as a Marcel Marceau impersonator (that’s quite different from actually being a mime artist) is on hold at the moment, due to slight case of Frozen Face - or as the witchdoctors down at the hospital call it, Bell’s Palsy.

When I went to see them the first time, they got quite insistent about me coming back and visiting their neurology department a little bit after the initial consult - just to make sure I wasn’t doing something else spectacular in the brain-box. So, in a turn up for the books, I did what I was told.

After the initial questioning and testing and poking and prodding and the lights and the lenses and the balancing and the pointing and the singing and the back-flipping while walking and reciting while balancing with eyes shut please, the initial doctor said,

“I just want to go and get the head specialist. When he comes in, don’t say anything, I want to see how quickly he picks it.”

The very cheery and quite charming head neuro specialist came in and said,

“Smile. Grimace. Show me your teeth. Look surprised. Look angry. Look like a bear. Look like a frog. Look like Joan Rivers walking into a stiff breeze. Look like Joan Rivers ordering a stiff drink…” and so on.
After a beat, he said, “Well, in this case, laughter really is the best medicine. Do you like Monty Python?”
I said, “Not when it’s being re-enacted by Neurologists,” and he laughed.

I didn’t. I was deadly serious. He went on.

“No, Really. What you have to do is go and get as many funny DVDs as you can and keep yourself laughing. Oh, and you can do acupuncture too, if you want.”

This intrigued me. I said, “Really? A real doctor is telling me to go and get acupuncture?”

He said, “Yep. There are no head-to-head trials to compare with other therapies, but we do think there are benefits.”

I said, “I guess a double-blind study with placebos is a bit hard to do with acupuncture,” and they laughed again.

I didn’t. I was deadly serious, but the thought does amuse me in hindsight.

So speaking of amusing, I have to go to the DVD store and stock up on therapy.