Both Kinds of Music

Country and Western - the worst music in the world. Unyet... there are some C&W songs rattling around in me just dyin' to get out. Here's a little number I wrote about online dating.

Not burdened by education

Not sporting my own hair

Free from the ravages of intelligence

And lacking any flair

Chorus:

I aint got much to offer

But I offer it a lot

I aint got much to give

But I’ll give it all I got

I’ve got hidden shallows

But my ugly is bone deep

I can clear a room in seconds

Or put them all to sleep

I’m better in small doses

I like to make them beg for less

In little dribs and drabs they say

And it’s not just the way I dress

Chorus:

They say I’m a room divider

And that’s good to store some books

But they weren’t talkin’ about furniture

But more about my looks

Not overstocked in talent

Not understocked in weight

I could try harder at everything

But it’s easier to blame fate

Chorus:

The singles market is murder baby

I’m what you call a sleeper

But don’t be too put out because

My mum says I’m a keeper

So stop your complaining and whining

And start to appreciate your lot

‘Cause whether it’s cat ladies or hobos

I’m worse than what you got