I suspected that I might have been getting crook when my back ached uncontrollably for two weeks. When one of my neck glands went up and I started shivering and sweating, I went for the medicine cabinet to find a thermometer and an excuse not to leave the house.
Delirium set in at about the same time I found the old style chemical-strip thermometer. Remember them? The ones that you put on your forehead and wait for the strip to change colour. What you are then supposed to do is compare that colour to a handy chart to derive your temperature.
I must have mixed up my medicine cabinet chart collection at some point because, in my delirious state, I discovered that my temperature was ‘happy romantic tending towards nervous and anxious’.
After throwing the mood-ring instruction book away, I staggered round the house looking for an alternative. I decided that a trip to the quack was in order when I discovered that my condition was also rated nearly ‘rare beef’.
The doctor disagreed with my diagnoses but congratulated me on my resourcefulness.
Caution: For people looking to save a little money on household implements, be aware that meat thermometers are usually very sharp on the sensing end. When resting it under your tongue for three minutes, be sure not to walk around or bump into things. This results in needing to tell the doctor that there are two things wrong with you.
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