14 January 2010
Road Brains
The police report on the accident I almost had this morning would have been interesting.
“The motorist looked to his left and claimed to have witnessed a zombie driving a car. He then claims that if zombies were able to drive cars, we were all in deep kaka. He reports that his instinctive emergency reaction was to swerve violently into oncoming traffic to escape the un-dead horror.”
It was horrible, folks. The zombie was driving along, head totally still in that stiff necked zombie way, skin all mottled and rotten and about to fall off, and then I got a better look and worked out what was going on.
Some nut-bag of a woman was driving to work with a full, cucumber facemask on.
Facemasks might make her look younger, but it aged me about ten years.
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Just stumbled upon your blog and had to comment as this made me laugh so much. Many a morning spent in peak hour traffic have I spent staring into other people's cars observing their ways of saving time - shaving, applying make-up, reading, eating porridge, getting dressed - I have to say, this tops them all.
ReplyDeleteI once followed a woman into the Harbour Tunnel while she was applying make-up. Because she was looking more at the rear-vision mirror than what was ahead, she got two wheels up on the cement embankment and was driving along doing a Men In Black impersonation. Did. Not. Smudge. Her. Lipstick.
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