Australia Has Spoken

And they've given it a resounding, "Meh."

With my limited understanding of these things, I am amazed.

I am amazed that a voting population of that size can turn in a dead-heat.

To me, this does not speak of the stunning closeness of the competition. This does not put in mind a great battle between two equally impressive and opposing forces. To me, this is Australians desperately casting about for the lesser of two evils and being squarely divided down the middle on which is most offensive. That’s not agreement, that’s semi-mutual disgust.

Imagine what would have happened if someone with some bravery and vision had stood up. They would have swept to power on a wave of relief and gratitude. And by the way, this isn't me passing the buck. I wouldn't flatter myself with being able to do the job. I'm too fragile and full of doubt to be able to stand up in front of bunch of hecklers and insist I knew what was best.

Besides, power should be kept out of the hands of those who desire it and I would be a nightmare. The first thing I'd try and legislate for would be that every house gets a government sponsered pillow-room. Nothing but pillows. The only way you're allowed to enter the room is at a run and by throwing yourself as far as you can into the room. Yeah. Next I'd fix the environment. Cushions, I reckon. Cushions everywhere. Then the stupid environment can't hurt us. Yeah. Next? Dodgem cars will replace real cars in a staggered, and therefore entertaining, replacement scheme…

Anyway, we'll get to do the voting thing again soon, so let's really shock them. Everybody, let's just agree to vote for that weird little Communist Party dude down the bottom of the ticket. Just for the helluvit.