Breast Wishes to You

Reading the side of the water container in my hand, I see that Mount Franklin and the Pink Ribbon mob have conservatively set their sights on making $250,000 for breast cancer research. This is apparently a Diamond Partner arrangement between the foundation and the water mob.

I don’t think they’re putting their back into it.

Raising money for breasts would have to be the easiest job in the world.

I remember that there used to be a lot of bad blood between the Guide Dogs and all the other charitable foundations around here. It was considered too damn easy to park a puppy on Pitt St with a bowl in front of him, and come back at the end of the day to find the dopey fur-ball drooling on $3,000, and as happy as a Labrador who’s been patted by adoring strangers all day. The odiferous homeless guy selling you The Big Issue didn't stand a chance.

Well, I can think of a couple of things that I like more than an adorable little Labrador puppy sitting on a blanket in town, and they’re riding around on the front of 51% of the population… and I am pretty sure I’m not alone. I think even het girls tend to like and appreciate them. As far as what to put out on a blanket to attract passersby is concerned, you can see where I'm going with this.

Honestly, raising money for boosies has got to be the doddle of the century. Spare a thought to the poor person who has to promote Movember. It used to be primarily about a hideous little gland, and is now forced to rope in other man-killers as distractions - they use clinical depression as a sort of padded bra for prostates.