"What're you lookin' at, pansy?"
Apparently, all the swans in England are owned by Liz. I don’t know how the swans feel about this, and I’m not certain if Queeny goes and pats them and talks to them, but I am told they are all technically hers.
This fair isle of ours is still under the aegis of HRH, and I would hazard then, that the swans here are therefore technically answerable to her as well. So now we’ve got a starting place.
Centennial Park offered up its usual brand of light hearted tom-foolery last night, when a swan took a disliking to Emergency Contact, and chased her around the park for a bit. It is hard to buy this sort of entertainment. The often quoted saying has it that, “a swan can break a man’s arm, you know!” EC isn’t a man, so I wasn’t worried.
When things had calmed down a bit, she had to go back to the trainer’s car to fish out a new pair of shoes he’d got for her. As she was lacing them up, the swan peered around the side of the open car door, waiting for her to stand up and move off, and present some juicy part of anatomy for a good pecking. The swan had impeccable timing and comedy instincts. EC wasn’t so impressed.
“Dear Queen,
It is time that you did something about your swans. Swan number 15,072 has a bad attitude and needs to be dealt with.
A light cull apparently is good for the vigour of a group. You should royally look into it.
Yours truly,
She Who Must Be Contacted In Case of Emergency
P.S. After a bit of research, I have discovered that you only own the mute swans. I cannot remember if the swan in question was mute or not, I was moving too quickly to hear anything other than the wind in my ears.”
Quite Interesting.
ReplyDeleteAs HRH owns the swans, if you kill a swan it's considered an act of treason, which is the only remaining crime in england that can incur the death penalty. So, beware when confronting a swan!
ReplyDelete... and this, Sarah, is where we get such important stuff done on this blog. You don't address this stuff, and someone's gonna get hanged. I thank you for your valuable input. For further important reading
ReplyDeletehttp://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article69850.ece
Just woke up thinking about this. Why a swan? Surely a duck would have been the better choice? Less vicious and less of a mouthful?
ReplyDeleteYah, but I don't think said idiot was working to a logical set of instructions. In another article I read on it, he said some oddly self contradictory stuff, along the lines of,
ReplyDelete"Fasting is very important to me because I am a Muslim and I was very hungry so I had to kill it to eat."
Also, I've never eaten swan, but it would have to more tender than wild duck.