There’s a mood of suicidal desperation out there. Take that photo on the left. That’s a lake that Emergency Contact and I drove past recently, down on the Victorian border. I think it’s called Lake Melanoma or Dishwala or something. Anyway, the point is that it’s big and spooky. That’s what made us pull over and stop to look at it. It is populated with dead, silver trees that emerge from its glass-like, shimmering surface. There are also as many trunks underneath as ones above. They hide below the glittering waterline, looming up from a sylvan underworld as though you are a hobbit on the way to Mount Doom and you have fallen into the marshes of… ahem. Fill in the clichés where appropriate.
Why is this worthy of mention? Well, it didn’t strike me as odd at the time - it‘s not documented in film. I just wanted a shot of the spookiness and deliberately avoided getting… wait for it… all the water skiers in the shot. The water skiers on a lake that is studded randomly but regularly with trees, both below and above the waterline. What is that, if not a desperately suicidal thing to do? On our way out, there was line of cars towing powerboats ready to join in the aquaplaning death-match.
It’s not just the humans who have decided to end it all, either. Similarly inexplicable, but still popular, is fauna’s insistence on hanging out on the road. I think they just want conversation.
A lot has been said about road-kill and how tragic it is and what number to ring to report injured fuzzies and how much it costs to fence a highway etc. But, my first question is: Why are all these animals throwing themselves under your wheels? It’s not just the wild ones. If you drive past any paddock or huge tract of land, all the farm animals are crammed into a tiny area, sometimes having a meeting under a tree, but usually within ten feet of the road. Why? Are they automobile aficionados? Are they people watchers? All that space and they’re hanging out by the side of the road like bored teenagers on a Saturday night. The phrase ‘as free as a bird’ doesn’t seem to mean anything to birds, either. All that sky, all that land, all those trees to roost in and yet seemingly the most attractive thing to do is to fly at bonnet height across that deadly black ribbon and land with your head just resting across the tar line.
You can’t do anything about Australian people. They paid their money, they takes their ride. But, Australian animals are bored and they’re desperate for your company. Pause (paws) and have a chat with a few fuzzy or feathered things as you traverse the wide brown land this year. You might just reduce the road toll with a few choice words.
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