How Much Would You Expect to Pay... Wait Don't Answer

Went car shopping with a mate and his beloved today. Now I actually like cars, so pootling about looking at them is no trauma. However the people selling them are. I like to think that in many cases we have moved on from the stereotypes of our parents, but in the case of the Used Car Salesmen… well I think there must be a lab somewhere churning out caricatures of the stereotype. If you could reasonable expect any success, when you stepped across the chain-link fence you’d say,

“Now just hold it there ok? You are in Australia, has a hard sell ever worked in any situation where you’ve been dealing with an Australian? I know you must watch those movies, particularly where Robin Williams plays a car salesmen and think to yourself ‘Hmmmm, that looks fun and I bet it sells a lot of cars.’ But I assure you, that’s comedy set in America and it just won’t fly here. Oh, and the attitude can swing the other way too mate. Don’t think for a minute you are doing me any favours by standing there and intimating that in some way I am wasting your time.”

Still we did come away with a car and there’s a lesson here. The female in the group was so tired and over the whole caper (and it was her buying) that she ended up just buying the least offensive car from the least offensive person. We were driven into the arms of the sale by the sheer crappiness of the other sales people. Used Car Salesmen should all get together, and coordinate that effect. Move the inevitable sale up and down auto alley, by swapping the dates on which they are going to act like a human.

We also had a profoundly disappointing KFC experience (if you’re going to cruise the miracle mile heading west, why not go the whole hog and eat like a poor Westy as well.). There was no salt on our chips, and we only realised when we drove away, that we didn’t get moistened towelettes. Now this might not be true of any other country, but the only point to KFC in Australia, is the chicken salt and tonnes of it - followed by the stinky head-spinning goodness of the moistened hand wiper.