Pick From The List And Hit Play, Ok?

(Do the following in your best outrajoos Fronch accent. It’s more fun that way.)

“So, your CV is excellent, you have enormous experience running the back-of-house, the PA and the boards for these kinds of special events. Is there anything else we should know, Monsieur Dyslexique, before we sign contracts?”

“I feel it best to be honest with you, that at times I can have difficulty distinguishing between the letters “D” and “Sp.” But I have in place many ways to work around this problem and normally, context gives me the clues that I need.”

“We are equal opportunity employers here at The Tour, Sir, we will have no problem with this small matter. Your experience is too good to pass up. Welcome to the Tour de France Technical Support Team!”

A few weeks later (and this is the completely true bit).

On the crowded Parisienne streets, along the Champs Elysee, people crane and strain to see Contador as he climbs the winner's podium in his yellow jersey.

The Tour De France has been won for the second time by the elated Spaniard, and as he raises his arms in triumph, the glorious sounds of the Danish national anthem ring out through the streets of Paris.