29 October 2009

Don’t Make A Spectacle Of Yourself


It may interest you to know that we in Australia cannot have 20-20 hindsight, foresight or even a 20-20 plebiscite. Not because we’re stupid; because we’re metric. It’s not measured over 20 feet, but 6 meters. Doesn’t that ruin some song lyrics?

Last week, I found myself at the optometrist. It wasn’t an accidental thing, like wandering around with my arms out and lucking on the right door, but it did have the feeling of coming on suddenly, and without my permission. Apparently, this happens precisely at a point when you hit your very, very (extremely) late twenties.

So, we do the testing and it turns out that, beyond a certain distance, I have better than nominal sight. I get 6.5 out of 6. In semi-practical terms, this means you can move the contract 7 metres away from me and I can still read the fine-print. But it’s inside that distance that led me to the optometrist in the first place.

After the test (and the distinctly odd experience of having my eyeballs anaesthetised and the Optometrist rest a piece of equipment on them to measure their pressure) I received her quirky analysis and prescription.

“As you age, the eye muscles are less able to refocus the lens for the close in, reading-type activities. You can buy standard, non-prescription glasses from the service station and it won’t harm you and it won’t change the strength of the prescription that you will eventually need. But if you can muddle through, you might as well…”

And then she said the thing that tickled me.

“… and you might as well muddle through, because you’re tall.”

“Oh, and why does that matter?” I ask. I just don’t see the connection.

“Because you can hold the book a long way away from yourself, and it won’t look too odd.”

2 comments:

  1. Oh one basket, the comedic value your height provides...

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  2. "The forties are the new thirties" only applies to tall people, the downside is that(because the earth spins) you are aging quicker than me because the top of your head is going faster than mine.

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