Feel The Noise

The roads in China are very noisy. There is some provincial variation but in general, the horn is used all the time and has many meanings.

It can mean, “Hello, I'm coming up behind you and will probably go past in a couple of seconds.”

Or, “Hello, I'm riding my completely silent electric scooter at 50 km/h down a four-foot-wide lane-way, crowded with stalls and shoppers.”

Or, “Hello, I am passing your loaded bus on the outside of a blind corner, on the crest of a hill, with sheer drops on either side, into oncoming traffic.”

I have personally experienced all of the above and they are but a small representation of the many and varied meanings of the Chinese horn. Sometimes it's a simpler message. Sometimes it simply means, “Death is imminent.”

Imagine the ideal driver in Australia. Someone who has good control of their vehicle, and has situational awareness at all points of the compass. The internal rear-vision mirror is checked often and the Australian driver will not pass their driving exam without checking the external mirrors and looking over their shoulder before changing lanes.

The ideal Australian driver will not survive here, or will starve before making it home. The approach is – you need only be concerned with what's in front or level with you. Behind you? Well, that is the problem of the person behind you. Lane changes (lanes, what am I talking about? There is a hell of a lot of wasted white paint on the roads here.)... Direction variations are made with impunity and on a whim. The person behind you adjusts or flows around the problem. I mentioned earlier that riding a bike here was alright once you became one of the little fish, and used the current. That's the approach you have to take. You can't get angry at the guy in front for driving like a loon and you yourself can take advantage of this forgiveness when you need to jag out across five lanes of traffic.

I can see how they have gained the reputation they have in other countries. Here, I've seen people stop their cars for a chat in the passing lane of a freeway. But nobody gets upset because it happened in front of them; it's their job to swerve around the impromptu picnic. The blithe lack of concern about anything going on behind their ears works, if everybody does it. It's a disaster in countries that expect orderly flow and predictable braking behaviour.

So if you're committed in some way to a maneuver that involves getting around someone, the horn is used to let them know you're drawing level. It's bloody noisy and this can lead to communication problems when you are on the bus and trying to listen to what people are telling you. For instance, I was quite excited to hear we were off see the Harry Potter Warriors. I've never seen a live game of quidditch and I was all keyed up.

I didn't get to see any quidditch, but the Terracotta Warriors were really very good, too.